2007’s Films Worth Waiting For (aka You Can’t Pay Me Enough to Sit Through “Norbit”)
Review by Daryl Grove
Based on the Frank Miller graphic novel, “300” delivers total carnage, gladiator style, on March 9. Photo: Warner Brothers
So far so bad for 2007, with nothing worth getting excited about being released between New Years Day and the Oscars. But things get better once those little golden statues have been distributed. I’m not promising the following films will change your life, I’m not promising any of them will win Best Picture in 2008, I’m not even promising they’ll be good. But they will be interesting, and none of them will star Tim Allen.
Black Snake Moan , March 2—Craig Brewer’s follow up to “Hustle & Flow” has Sam Jackson finally acting his age as a depressed former blues musician, but also chaining a nymphomaniac Christina Ricci to his radiator for her own good. Positively dripping with the blues, and looks like it might have a sense of humor. Guaranteed: Ricci in her underwear, Jackson embracing male pattern baldness
300, March 9—The legend of 300 Spartan soldiers facing the entire Persian empire in 480 B.C. was re-imagined in Frank Miller’s graphic novel “300.” Zack Snyder transfers Miller’s work to the screen with “Sin City” stylistics and Gerard Butler leading the charge. Guaranteed: copious CGI blood, shouting, swordplay
Sunshine, March 16—Danny Boyle directs a claustrophobic sci-fi drama about astronauts on a mission to re-ignite the sun. Cillian Murphy, Rose Byrne, Chris Evans and Michelle Yeoh are amongst the astronauts living at close quarters. Should be like “Armageddon” meets “Alien” in a “Shallow Grave,” giving us a “2001” for 2007. Guaranteed: arguments, technical malfunctions
On April 6, Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez present “Grindhouse,” featuring Kurt Russell and his bloodthirsty hot rod. Photo: Dimension Films
Grindhouse, April 6—Two feature length faux exploitation flicks for the price of one; Robert Rodriguez’ “Planet Terror” and Quentin Tarantino’s “Death Proof” both starring Rose McGowan. Featuring fake trailers for non-existent films in between and grindhouse staples like missing limbs and missing scenes. Guaranteed: irony, splatter, awkward Tarantino cameo
Hot Fuzz, April 20—The team behind “Shaun Of The Dead” have made a parody police action movie. Simon Pegg is a London cop so prolific he makes the other cops look bad, so they transfer him to a sleepy English village. But the village holds a violent secret... otherwise the movie would be dull. Guaranteed: guns, swans, hilarity
The Simpsons, Movie July 27—It’s “The Simpson’s” on the big screen! There are plenty of too cool for school types who’ll say this is ten years too late. Maybe, but let’s just be glad it’s finally here. Even if it’s just like a regular episode but longer, it’s still “The Simpsons Movie.” Stop pretending you’re not excited. Guaranteed: father-son strangling, gigantic box office
Gone, Baby, Gone, September 28—Four words: Directed by Ben Affleck. It’s about two (shock!) Boston detectives investigating a little girl’s kidnapping. Worth seeing to decide whether Affleck is the new Clint Eastwood or just some talentless knucklehead lucky enough to have met Matt Damon. Guaranteed: Boston stuff
Bee Movie, November 2—Another animated comedy with anthropomorphic insects. But before you yawn, this one’s written by and starring Jerry Seinfeld, about a bee who sues humans for stealing honey. It’s basically “Seinfeld” with yellow and black stripes, minus the big haired racist fella. Guaranteed: Seinfeld’s stand-up routine thinly disguised as dialogue (not that there’s anything wrong with that...)
Be Kind Rewind, Release date to be determined—Michel Gondry’s on a roll after “Eternal Sunshine...” and “The Science of Sleep” and now he’s directing Jack Black as a man whose magnetized head accidentally erases all the videos in buddy Danny Glover’s video store. Glover’s most loyal customer is an easily confused old lady so to keep her happy the pair re-create classic video rentals like “Robocop” and “Back To The Future.” Guaranteed: Black’s enthusiasm vs Glover’s deadpan
Fay Grim, Release date to be determined—Hal Hartley’s fantastic “Henry Fool”—about garbage man and undiscovered literary genius Simon Grim—was released in 1997. No one noticed. Ten years later he’s releasing a sequel, in which Simon’s sister Fay (Parker Posey) is questioned by FBI agent Jeff Goldblum. Guaranteed: quotable dialogue, moody music
Published February 15, 2007
Volver Strong women, persistent ghosts and friendly kissing...
