All is can say is, “Wow.”

Six years of freelancing didn’t fully prepared me for chronicling what I saw when I took over the writing reins of “Experience It” last Sunday.

Tod, Dwayne, Mauricio, Isabel, Clay and Mandy took a much-needed rest after last week’s snowboarding excursion at Wintergreen. I hadn’t joined them because there was no way anyone was going to strap me to a brightly decorated piece of wood and launch me down a mountain slope.

So, I decided to take on a safer yet more daring assignment.

As Richmond’s newly self-appointed, number one sex symbol (there’s no official ranking yet – I checked), I wanted to go to a local spot where there were lots of single women having lots of fun.

We’d heard that huge crowds gather for brunch outside Godfrey’s, a nightclub and restaurant near the Brick offices, on Sunday morning and afternoon, so we decided to investigate.

With Brick’s executive manager Jim Clark and sales coordinator Joan Eades in tow, we embarked on an unforgettable experience that I needed a full day to digest before I could even sit down at the keyboard.

Needless to say, my experience was decidedly less Cuba Gooding, Jr. in “Snow Dogs” and more Wesley Snipes in “To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar.”

Before last Sunday, seeing “To Wong Foo” was the only gateway I’d ever had into the female impersonator experience. To be honest, I didn’t know much about female impersonators or the kind of fun that awaited the audience at the show.

The rumor about the large crowd was right. People gathered in front of Godfrey’s an hour before the show began.

Both the morning and afternoon shows were completely booked. Godfrey’s takes reservations by phone during the week before the show, so it’s important to call early.

As I solicited the crowd for quotes, I got more requests for me to withhold last names in my story than the F.B.I’s witness protection program.

Francine Melito and Kimberly Harrelson of Richmond were more than willing to talk. Last Sunday was Melito’s fourth time at the show, and she didn’t have to drag Harrelson out after making the suggestion to see it again.

“Every time I’ve come for brunch here, I laughed, laughed, laughed,” Melito said. Harrelson agreed. “Once she told me we were going to see the guys dressed up, I said, ‘Let’s go!’”

We met Kerry, an admitted heterosexual cross-dresser and the crowd handler before the show, who was waiting for us. She wore a demure, fifties-style frock that strangely reminded me of a dress I’d seen my grandmother wear.

“When you see the show, the illusion will be hard to believe,” Kerry said. “Just like me – I’m usually a blonde, but today I’m sporting a ravishing red.”

“For single, heterosexual men, it’s the best kept secret in Richmond. These ladies come out here in droves every week, and it’s just a big party.”

Kerry led us to our reserved spot at the bar. After we ordered our breakfast and I got over my initial shock from Joan ordering a mimosa, I glanced back to notice there were women as far as my eyes could see.

Many had brought large groups in for birthday and bachelorette parties.

Crowd interaction with dirty jokes and puns set the tone. Political incorrectness abounds, but as show host Jeff Willis said, they’re equal opportunity offenders.

Willis asked the crowd about the toast he was about to deliver. “Do you want it filthy, nasty or disgusting?” The crowd answered back, “Disgusting!”

Sadly, we can’t print the toast here.

Decked out in evening gowns, dresses and leotards, performers Tiffany Devereaux, Victoria C. Snow, Hope Daniels and Alvion Arnelle each strolled through the aisle.

Tipping is encouraged, and a fistfull of dollars at Godfrey’s on Sunday has nothing to do with spaghetti westerns.

The audience sang along during the performances.

Alvion performed as a Tina Turner look-alike to songs such as “Simply the Best” and “Rollin’ On a River.” Whether Alvion’s legs are insured by Lloyd’s of London or not is still unknown.

As I gobbled down French toast, I saw a guy near us with kisses from the performers on his forehead, and it wasn’t Jim, who’d also gotten a few pecks on the cheek. Jules Letellier of Richmond said his family members tipped the performers so they would give him kisses and that it was all in good fun.

I too got a bit wild, in the name of good journalism. A woman watching the show fed me grapes from a bunch she was holding in her own mouth, which led to an exciting photo op.

If you can let your hair down on Sunday, the drag brunch at Godfrey’s is great fun.

One question, though: how would Jim explain our Sunday afternoon on his expense report?

– Korey Hughes