CD | NUDE WITH BOOTS
The Melvins / Ipecac
Sludge metal? Doom rock? Stoner punk? Whatever, dudes. The Melvins are one of the last great flat-out rock bands still standing, with a discography as long as a mutant horse’s peen and a storied, ball-busting history that’s only slightly less ludicrous than Spinal Tap’s imaginary flirtation with the out-and-out absurd. The new one sounds like business-as-usual, but when you’re in the business of slaughtering unbelievers wholesale with the sheer bloody fury of your Platonically perfect riffs, the same ol’, same ol’ is a good thing. Listen closely, all ye ex-heshers that abandoned thine faith: it’s time to grow out your hair again. Your old gods are back in town, and they. Are. Pissed.

CD | THE CORAL SEA
Patti Smith / Kevin Shields / Pask Records
This should have been impossibly awesome. It’s a universal mathematical truth: Patti Smith + Kevin Shields = the hawtness. But what do we get? An endless spoken-word clusterfuck that can only charitably described as “improvisational performance art.” The less-charitable among us might be inclined to call this a “soul-sucking morass of onanistic wankery.” And even that might be too kind, since the only way to get off on this is through sheer force of will alone.

DVD | JOE STRUMMER: THE FUTURE IS UNWRITTEN
Julien Temple / Sony Legacy
In the grand scheme of all things in the Church of Rock and Roll, Strummer is the closest thing we have to a canonized saint—which is just ever-so slightly ironic, since our man Joe rode to fame on the shoulders of folks that screamed “KILL YER IDOLS!” at the top of their lungs. Temple’s bio-doc is fascinating and entertaining, but it occasionally veers into the sappy realm of reverential fan-pandering. Regardless, it’s still a good watch; Strummer is endless charming, and Temple’s a master of his craft.

DVD | STOP LOSS
Kimberley Peirce / Paramount/MTV
This flick bombed in the theatres, which mean most of you didn’t bother to see it. Was it the MTV branding? The made-for-teens casting? Whatever your excuses were, they all suck. While this film doesn’t live up to the standards of Peirce’s last flick (Boys Don’t Cry), it’s still a thoughtful look into the unspoken costs of a seemingly endless war. The script and pacing is clumsy at times, but the acting is compelling and the message is dead-on. It’s worth a rental or two.

BOOK | SEX IN CRISIS
Dagmar Herzog / Basic Books
If Herzog is to be believed, the evangelicals are scrawling “FORNICATE FOR JESUS!” in our political sandbox, tightening their stranglehold on our nation’s continued discourse on proper sexuality. Of course, she’s wrong; her (admittedly witty) book cherry-picks its facts, presenting a Chicken Little scenario that doesn’t meaningfully exist in any form or fashion. Move along, move along: there’s nothing to see here, folks.

Sheeeee-it, I really should check these pages more often. Well Jim, if you really want to get your hands on a copy of the disc, Amazon is your best friend. Plan 9 should have the copy I traded in, but it might be gone by now.

I’m telling you, though: the disc sucks more balls than a hooker turning tricks at Chuck-e-Cheese. Save yr. cash, unless you really, really enjoy mediocre poetry set against ear-shattering guitar noise.

Was wondering how can I get a copy of this CD / THE CORAL SEA by Patti Smith and Kevin Shields ?