BOOK | TOUCH ME, I’M SICK: THE 52 CREEPIEST LOVE SONGS YOU’VE EVER HEARD
Tom Reynolds / Chicago Review Press
Let’s get this straight: Reynolds is not a Christgau. He’s not even a Bangs, even though he tries so very, very hard. However, this snarky collection of rants and raves are still a joy to read—it’s quick, witty and effusive, even if it is utterly predictable at times. Admittedly, Reynolds’ predictably vociferous tirades against the evils of modern POP! music do grow unbearably tiresome, and the man takes a heavy-handed swipe against hip-hop here and there; however, the book remains a lot fun throughout, often seeming less like prose and more like a carefully constructed mixtape from a good friend. Give it a read.

CD | EARTH TO THE DANDY WARHOLS
The Dandy Warhols / World’s Fair
The Sixties sucked, and anyone that tells you otherwise is either trying to sell you something or lube you up for a right proper reaming.  That’s why I can’t shake the sneaking suspicion that Courtney Taylor is trying very hard to shove his peen into places that are best reserved for doctors, prostitutes and other paid professionals. His necrophilic obsession with third-rate psychedelia is both grating and unnecessary.

CD | YOU AND ME
The Walkmen / Gigantic
The Walkmen sound like the Walkmen, all swirling synths and shimmery guitars buried under overt references to the Velvet Underground. The boys haven’t really changed a damn thing since their debut back in ’02. The album is a pretty little affair, but you can only repeat yourself so often before even the prettiest girl ends up looking like a cheap five-dollar whore. Holla!

CD | REMEMBER
The Fiery Furnaces / Thrill Jockey
I despise the Fiery Furnaces with a seething hatred that I normally reserve for Nazis and child molesters. Their twee-pop art-core take on Jefferson-fucking-Airplane is infuriatingly precious. But live? That’s an entirely different matter. Maybe it’s the crowd chatter, or the artlessly infectious improve-driven energy, but this is one of the few live discs that I’d be willing to listen to without being waterboarded first. I’m just as surprised as you are.

CD | OCEANS WILL RISE
The Stills / Arts and Crafts
Another day, another goddamn album from a bunch of overzealous Canucks attached to the A&C collective. This is horrifyingly generic alt-guitar-rock, sounding like it wouldn’t be too out of place in your local neighborhood dive. I’m pretty sure I’ve picked things out of my teeth that are more interesting than this sad collection of half-assed pop songs. It’s like these guys WANT to be the Tragically Hip. Sad, sad, sad.