ORBIT

DAVID FOSTER WALLACE1 IS DEAD2
1. nee David “Fuckwit” Wallace; see Brick Weekly, 5/12/08
2. i.e. passed on, no more, ceased to be, expired, late, stiff, bereft of life, pushing up daisies, ex-insufferable postmodern writer3, etc. See Monty Python’s Flying Circus, “Full Frontal Nudity”, 1969.
3. Too soon4?
4. But just who defines what is and what isn’t “too soon”? Why must the recently deceased be considered sacrosanct? Death does not confer canonization, nor does it make maddeningly mediocre work miraculously spectacular5 in hindsight.
5. Okay, okay—in retrospect, Infinite Jest was pretty good.
RIP, DFW.


CD

LIVING ON THE OTHER SIDE
The Donkeys / Dead Oceans
Two words will immediately enter your head upon listening to this disc: JAMES TAYLOR. These words will immediately be followed by the image of Sweet Baby James, heavily medicated, ramming straight into the tail-end of ’60s psychedelia. The Donkeys are pushing some straight-up California Gold here, suitable for mellow afternoons spent on opiates and pharms but not much else.


BOOK

DOWNTOWN OWL
Chuck Klosterman / Scribner
Heyo! Everyone’s favorite shit peddler is back, spewing his oxymoronic snobby populist bull in the guise of—WAIT FOR IT—literary fiction! Well, fuck you Chucko—why don’t you go back to choking on Count Chocula’s knob, instead of presenting your inexplicably faithful audience with an onantastically sloppy work that meanders beyond the point of utter absurdity? My own gaping anus is more riveting than this piece of sheer wankery, and I can assure you that my rear is something that you don’t want to see.


BOOK

THE INDIE BAND SURVIVAL GUIDE: THE COMPLETE MANUAL FOR THE DO-IT-YOURSELF MUSICIAN
Randy Chertkow and Jason Feehan / St. Martin’s Griffin
Great. Another useless guide for douchebag Jack Johnson wannabes everywhere. This indulgent and shamelessly self-promotional piss rag essentially argues that all aspiring musicians should transform themselves into a muddafuggin’ BRAND, like Pepsi or Summer’s Eve. If anyone is actually interested in turning their baby into a marketing exercise, I’d recommend that you save your money and stick a carving knife into your ear instead. You’ll be doing everyone a favor in the end.


DVD

YOUNG@HEART
Stephen Walker / 20th Century Fox
Oh, this is unbearably precious. This doc covers the travails and tribulations of a senior citizen’s choir as they struggle to learn semi-modern pop tunes, ranging from the Godfather of Soul to Chris Martin’s plaintive wailings. While the premise borders on the sickeningly sweet (and too often seems like a cleverly disguised Christopher Guest production), it’s also very hard to dislike. The group and its members are truly lovable, turning a potentially tragicomic gimmick into a warm and ultimately entertaining film.