MUSIC | It’s Not Me, It’s You
Lily Allen / Capitol
How could anyone dislike Lily Allen? You just want to hug her, squeeze her tight, and then ask her to do unmentionable things to your body. That said, her musical output has generally ranged from pleasantly quirky to annoyingly precious, never sounding much better than a second-rate Specials knock-off. But now she’s venturing into the Eurotrash discotheque pop previously owned wholly by the Scandinavians, and she’s much better for it. It’s less dancehall, more Abba, and filled with more hooks than a dungeon owned by a dominatrix with a particularly disturbing fetish for fishing.

BOOK | The Future of Liberalism
Alan Wolfe / Knopf
I never quite understood books like this, which allow liberals to pat themselves on the back while remaining roundly ignored by conservatives. I mean, Wolfe’s take on the definition of liberalism is fine and dandy, providing ample ammo to back up the universal claim that conservatives are morally-bankrupt pedophiles with no sense of empathy or compassion, but what good does it do when you’re just preachin’ to the choir?

MUSIC | March of the Zapotec / Holland
Beirut / Ba Da Bing
It took a while, but Condon—he that is Beirut nee Realpeople—has finally moved beyond the chanson pop of his earlier records, settling into some strange drunken groove between Serge Gainsbourg and Calexico. It’s charmingly anachronistic, even if it doesn’t really move with any sense of urgency; it’s the type of album best reserved for aimless midnight drives across the state line.

MUSIC | That Beep
Architecture in Helsinki / Polyvinyl
You know what happens when the Canadians form musical collectives? We get acts like Broken Social Scene and Godspeed You Black! Emperor. When the Brits do it, we get great ripcord pop like Los Campesinos!. But when the goddamn Aussies get around to it, we get half-baked ’80s New Wave revivalism, coming off like a campy mix of Men at Work, the B-52s and sheer suck. NO GOOD MUSIC COMES FROM AUSTRALIA, PEOPLE. THIS IS A FACT. IT IS PROVEN BY SCIENCE.

MUSIC | Years of Refusal
Morrissey / Lost Highway
Last night, I spent the better part of the evening learning how to play “There is a Light That Never Goes Out.” Man, that was a great song. You couldn’t really beat that one-two Morrissey/Marr punch. So it’s a damn shame that, much like the Wonder Twins, the two are GODDAMN USELESS WHEN SEPARATED. Smith powers, activate! Form of an actual listenable album that doesn’t choke on donkey balls! GO!!!