MOVIE | Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About His Father
Kurt Kuenne / Oscilloscope
Oh God. Oh Holy mother of Christ on a shiny pole! This emotionally exhausting documentary covers one of the greatest injustices of recent history, wherein a frighteningly manipulative woman named Shirley Turner murdered her boyfriend in cold blood, but roamed free with their child in hand. Why? Because she fled to Canada, where she remained out on bail by the whimsies of an incompetent Justice named Gale Welsh. Later, in 2003, Turner drowned her child and then committed suicide. And what has Canada done so far? NOTHING. FUCK CANADA AND FUCK WELSH. I WANT THAT BINT DISBARRED AND TRIED FOR MURDER. Watch this film, and you’ll be screaming for blood, too!

MUSIC | Wrath
Lamb of God / Epic / Roadrunner
I live in Richmond, write for a Richmond rag, and adore metal. Therefore, I am contractually obligated to love this album. Roadrunner could have stuck to their same ol’, same ol’ routine of sending me pressed vaccum-sealed shit, and I still would have slobbered all over this disc like a cock-hungry crack whore trying to cut a deal. It is raw, aggressive and will rip your balls off faster than an angry second-wave feminist who just got shit-canned by NOW.

MUSIC | Dimensions
The Lovetones / Planting Seeds
Anyone remember when I said no good music comes out of Australia? Well, looks like the record still stands. I would pay good money for any engineering plan that could strategically bomb the crap out of that worthless continent while leaving their awesome kiwi neighbors in one piece. Look, dudes: Jefferson Airplane is not cool, okay? You are totally not allowed to peddle this regressive hippie bullshit until you get a girl as hot as Grace Slick in your band.

BOOK | First Execution
Domenico Starnone / Europa Editions
Dear Mr. Starnone: Just because you are Italian does not mean that you are anywhere close to being as good as Italo Calvino. Your piddling foray into post-modern metafiction wankery comes off as contrived and immature, reeking of an inability to pull off an actual plot without resorting to parlor tricks and witless intertextual reflexivity. Aren’t there some semiotics professors you should be fellating or something?

MOVIE | Chris & Don. A Love Story
Tina Mascara/Guido Santi / Zeitgeist Films
First, let’s get this out of the way: yes, this documentary is about a gay couple, and yes, Christopher Isherwood was 30 years older than Don Bachardy. And yeah, if you think about it too much, the age difference is a tad disturbing (the two met when Bachardy was 18). But if you let that get in the way, you’d be missing a beautifully realized love letter from one partner to another, in a masterfully put together film that celebrates a heartbreakingly extraordinary relationship