http://www.brickweekly.com/ Brick Weekly Features en-us sitehelp@gatewayva.com Wed, 22 Apr 2009 1:36:47 EST http://www.brickweekly.com/index.php/features/the_seeds_of_change/ 2009/04/22 For my birthday last fall I got myself an awesome book called, “The Guerilla Art Kit” by artist Keri Smith.  It’s packed with lots of cool projects all centered around the guerilla art movement, which encourages people to make temporary public art, often with a positive impact and free of political or religious ideology. One of the projects featured in the book has been on my mind all winter, and with Earth Day this week, I figured now would be the perfect time to make some seed bombs. Seed bombs are compact little balls of clay, fertilized soil and, you guessed it: seeds.  They are dried in the sun so that they become hard little balls. These balls can be scattered around, thrown into areas you couldn’t otherwise reach or dropped at random as you walk, bike or otherwise travel around town. Seed bombs do not need to be buried, or even watered. They can be tossed into empty lots, onto roof tops, landfills or on the side of the road.  A little rain and the right conditions for growth, and Mother Nature will do the rest. Ingredients: Dried Clay. Try as I might, I couldn’t find the dried, powdered version of clay that the book called for around town.  I went for an all-natural, air-drying clay at the craft store and will hope for the best.  You can get dried clay at specialty gardening stores or stores that carry ceramics supplies. If you live near water, you may be able to dig up your own.  You’ll only need a couple cups worth. Worm Castings. Also called “vermicompost,” worm castings are the super fertilized soil that worms produce in a compost pile. I found a bag of it at Strange’s Garden Supply store, from an in-town supplier.  Seeds. Stick to plants that would grow naturally in your area.  Grasses and wildflowers are nice choices. The Mixture: According to The Guerrilla Art Kit, the correct ratio is two parts seeds + three parts compost + five parts clay.  Measure and mix your ingredients.  You’ll have to add enough water to make it a workable mixture.  Even though my clay wasn’t powdered, I still added a little water so I could mix it all together easily.   Once it’s mixed, pinch off small pieces and roll them into tight little balls, about one inch in diameter.  The outside of the ball should be smooth.  Finally, place them outside in the sun to dry for at least 24 hours.  Store in a cool, dry place until you’re ready to send them out into the world. Now What? Now you go forth and scatter your seed bombs wherever you want, and grow spots of color in unexpected places.  Think of it as positive graffiti—Johnny Appleseed meets Jackson Pollock.     Wed, 22 Apr 2009 1:29:06 EST http://www.brickweekly.com/index.php/features/pick_of_the_week_4.23/ 2009/04/22 DVD | Science is Fiction: 23 Short Films by Jean Painleve Jean Painlev / criterion Criterion comes through again like a motherfucking champion, wielding a boxset beautiful enough to make a frigid second-wave feminist cream her panties like she was a hapless 16-year-old prat on prom night. Jean Painleve directs science films like Michelangelo paints ceilings, transforming the wondrously mundane creatures surrounding us into poetic ruminations on the nature of life and beauty. Other than the films, this set contains the Condo Fucks-composed soundtrack “Sounds of Science”, along with some fascinating interviews with the man himself. Let’s all do some drugs and watch some science! CD | Art Brut vs. Satan Art Brut /Downtown I used to hate Art Brut. Yeah, big surprise, I know. Their twaddling approximations of the Fall running headlong into mid-90s Britpop bothered me to absolutely no end, often sounding like a bunch of talentless hacks who couldn’t find a good melody if it fucked ‘em in the ear. But then I saw them perform, and it was a goddamn revelation. They’re fun, sweaty, feel-good pub rock, meant to be experienced and not heard, best taken in after a few drinks too many. This album? Crap. But catch ‘em live if you can. CD | Sometimes I Wish We Were an Eagle Bill Callahan / Drag City What the hell happened to Callahan? Was it his Texas move? His time spent knocking boots with the winsomely cheerful if throat-slitting screechy Joanna Newsom? Whatever it is, something’s up with our man in Austin, as he plies the same prettily cheery Americana he was spinning in ‘07’s “Woke on a Whaleheart”. Most of the morbid humor and bile that infused his best works is gone, replaced by some strange sort of folksy prettiness that leads to a consistent, if not great album. DVD | Alexandra Aleksandr Sokurov / New Yorker Video This was hands-down one of the best films of 2008, and it’s finally getting a proper wide-distribution DVD release. Superficially, this film is about an old Russian woman’s visit to her grandson, who is currently stationed on the Chechen front. But—through its slow, measured pace and careful framing—Sokurov gives us a gem that’s humanistic yet elliptical, asking elusive questions that can never really be resolved. This is SERIOUS CINEMA folks—do your part to support a quickly dying school of filmmaking. DVD | A Jihad for Love Parvez Sharma / First Run Features Oh noes! I’m gay AND Muslim! Whatever shall I do? I know! I’ll direct an amateurish documentary about my PERSONAL ISSUES that somehow manages to be neither controversial nor edifying, as I desperately try to pass off my severe psychological deficiencies as entertainment! Yeah, fuck you and your ego, Sharma. If you can’t tell, this insipid little movie tries to address the gulf between sexual orientation and religion, but ends up sounding like a whiny college-age diary of a fresh-outta-the-closet case. Skip it. Wed, 15 Apr 2009 1:31:35 EST http://www.brickweekly.com/index.php/features/media_mix_4.16/ 2009/04/15 BOOK | I.O.U.S.A. Patrick Creadon / Roadside You want to know why you’re poor, can’t find a job, and why we’re all going to be generally fucked for the foreseeable future? Creadon’s gripping documentary is a great place to start. This enormously edifying and entertaining film features the most exhilarating portrayal of graphs and charts you will ever see—no joke. Grab a copy and educate yourself on why the national debt means that we’re all going to be taking it up the ass—HARD—in another 40 years or so. Then build a shrine to Clinton, who was, apparently, the only president who balanced the budget and produced a surplus in the last 100 years. CD | A Society in Which No Tear is Shed is Inconceivably Mediocre Yonlu / Luaka Bop I love Luaka Bop, if only because Byrne finds these leftfield pop acts that would normally be relegated to the horrid “World Music” section at Amazon. Yonlu is his latest find, and it’s a gem. This is straight lo-fi boombox-to-brainstem Shrimper stuff here, folks—kind of like if Devendra Banhart wasn’t insane, suddenly found Elliot Smith like child molesters find Jesus, and took some séance-driven songwriting lessons from the late, great Bossa Nova legend Tom Jobim. This album’s pure gold, folks. CD | The Law of the Playground The Boy Least Likely To / Redeye Lazier critics have hailed this English duo as the next twee sensation, inheriting Belle and Sebastian’s long uncontested wuss-pop mantle, but they share only superficial similarities to Stuart Murdoch’s sleep-inducing, axiomatic pastoral musings; instead, they’re the heir apparent to the Kinks, and this album sounds like The Village Green Preservation Society. And that’s a-fucking-okay in my book, because the Kinks are awesome. CD | Fantasies Metric / 02. Records Mmm: tastes like the 80s, sounds like the goddamn Go-Gos, and—after enough Scotch—could almost be mistaken for Beauty and the Beat. Us non-Canuckistanians might know frontwoman Emily Haines better as part of BSS, but she’s a helluva songwriter in her own right; her solo torch song affair was a thing of staggering beauty, and these straight-up power-pop gems are fun and catchy. The album’s a little too sugary for regular consumption, but it’s also hard to resist. CD | Everybody, Come Outside! Pomegranates / Lujo And it’s just a great week for the sad-eyed indie-popsters that are so endemic in sleepy little college towns like ours. I just can’t hate anything this week. Maybe I’m just growing old. Normally, with an album like this, I’d make some snarky comment about my testicles—but I just can’t bring myself to do it. Yeah, this is 80s British jangle-pop by the numbers, but it’s a great listen for anyone who still holds NME and their much-hailed C86 comp close to their hearts—all 12 of you. We should all get smashed and reminisce about how great the Pastels used to be. Wed, 08 Apr 2009 4:00:49 EST http://www.brickweekly.com/index.php/features/eggs_are_dying/ 2009/04/08 I have fond memories from dying eggs as a child.  I liked seeing the bright colors and dipping each egg carefully in several colors to get perfect stripes of color.  I liked the smell of the vinegar in the dye and still get a tinge of nostalgia any time I open a bottle.  I haven’t dyed eggs in years, but decided to give it a shot this year.  As a kid we always used the boxes from the drug store with the little tablets, but this time around, I wanted to give natural dyes a try. There are lots of reasons you might opt for all natural dyes: it’s probably better for the earth (especially if you compost your dye materials), it can be cheaper (if you have some of the materials already on hand), to reduce your carbon footprint (if you’re buying local, instead of the dye kits produced overseas).  To me, it just sounded like fun. Many different plants, herbs and spices can be used as a natural dye.  The basic process is to extract the dye from the plant (in this case, by boiling it in water) and then combining it with a mordant (a couple of teaspoons of Alum, a mineral compound found in the baking aisle at your grocery store) to make the color adhere to whatever it is you’re dying. I used: beets, red cabbage, yellow onion skins, blueberries, raspberries, green tea, spinach, curry and paprika.  I hard boiled my eggs ahead of time, and used both white and brown eggs. Remember, you’re working with dye, so protect your clothes and countertops.  Use a pot that that you wouldn’t mind throwing out, if necessary. Researching online, there were a few different techniques, but this is what I did: Bring a few cups of water to a boil. Add whatever it is you’re dying, plus a couple teaspoons of Alum. Reduce heat slightly, and boil for 30 minutes. Place eggs plus a couple of tablespoons of vinegar into a tall glass. Strain the dye into the glass, and let set. There were a few changes here and there:  for the beets, I just placed the eggs in the beet juice plus a little alum and vinegar.  I did the same for the green tea.  When working with the onion skins, avoid the alum, as it will cause a chemical reaction. Since I have the patience of a five year old, I only let mine set for a couple of hours.  The tutorials that I read said that the eggs could set for up to eight hours.  If you plan to eat your eggs, you’ll want to be careful how long you let your eggs soak. The spices (paprika and curry) gave me the most vibrant colors.  The spinach and green tea didn’t do much at all.  The berries and cabbage also gave nice results.  Overall, it was a fun experiment, and I even learned a thing or two.  The next thing I’ll have to learn, of course, is how to love an egg salad sandwich. Wed, 08 Apr 2009 3:45:13 EST http://www.brickweekly.com/index.php/features/pick_of_the_week_4.08/ 2009/04/08 BOOK | Wetlands Charlotte Roche / Grove Press How much can be said about a novel that is, at heart, about an infected anal fissure? Apparently a metric shit-ton, as critics everywhere are angrily jizzing all over their keyboards as they debate the merits of Roche’s debut. One camp decries it as porn; the other celebrates it as aggressively transgressive art. And underneath all the hysteria, a lot of folks are missing that this novel is a touching familial story that just happens to be about a brutally damaged fuck machine. It’s not for the weak of stomach, but let’s face it—if this novel offends you, you’re probably some sort of second wave feminist Frigidaire to begin with. Give it a chance and make up your own goddamn mind. MUSIC |  Positive Rage The Hold Steady / Vagrant Records I’ve been following Craig Finn’s work since the Lifter Puller years, but I’m not a huge fan of The Hold Steady’s recordings. They really are a band that has to be experienced live. This is why this live CD/DVD might be the perfect intro to the uninformed; Finn and the boys really work the Springsteen-cum-Newman-cum-Kerouac aesthetic, and the DVD perfectly captures the nervous energy they exude on stage. It’s a helluva time, even for long-time fans. MUSIC | Now We Can See The Thermals / Kill Rock Stars You know who The Thermals remind me of? All those faceless alternarock one-hit wonders that littered the airwaves back in the 90s, chugging along on generic riffs and shout-along choruses. They’re like Art Brut without the wit or the sense of fun; they have the fundamentals down of being the party band that all the cool kids want to love, but none of the charm, and they end up all the worse for it. MOVIE | Tell No One Guillame Canet / Music Box Films Remember that moment in “Momento” when everything just fell into place and it was a goddamn REVELATION and you were all like, “HA HA HA THAT IS SOME CLEVER SHIZZIT?” Yeah, this flick’s a lot like that. The film’s about a man who is still mourning the death of his wife, until he suddenly receives an email that implies she might still be alive—and that’s all I’m going to say, because you really do have to see this one for yourself. MOVIE | Timecrimes Nacho Vigalondo / Magnolia It’s a good week for witty, mind-bending thrillers. This movie is really better than it has any right to be, since it features time travel, a ridiculous figure that’s closely reminiscent of nostalgia-fave Darkman, and a director who’s name just begs for some sort of denigrating cheese reference. The plot twists occasionally get a little too clever for their own good, but it’s still a rollicking good time for sci-fi fans and non-fans alike. Wed, 01 Apr 2009 2:27:58 EST http://www.brickweekly.com/index.php/features/totally_my_type_decorating_with_letters_and_words/ 2009/04/01 I like words. Writing, reading, a particularly good turn of phrase or a simple but meaningful quote. I like specific words, especially ones with acutely specific meanings, and ones that are fun to say. I also like letters, type styles and hand writing. We read so many words in so many different places all day, but rarely do we stop to enjoy the text itself. I’ve begun decorating with text. It’s a nice way to add variety to an entire wall full of photographs, and by carefully choosing what the text says, it can be extremely meaningful and inspiring. You can use text in lots of ways. Decorate with your initials or your last name, or spell out the city that you live in (or which you did). Try a meaningful word or concept: Love, Peace, Prosperity or a single word instruction of what a person should do in the room you’ve decorated: Sleep, Eat, Relax. A short quote or pick-me- up can be moving: “You Look Great Today!” where you get ready in the morning, or “Travel Safely and Return Soon,” near your front door. Frame HandWriting Remember when you were in middle school and you would sign your name over and over with the last name of the celebrity you were certain you would marry? Write something over and over on a page of nice textured paper. Or find an old love letter that your grandfather wrote. Try enlarging your handwriting or a special letter several times its original size. You can also find vintage postcards with nice short letters at antique stores (and they’re not that expensive!). Find a few with interesting handwriting, and arrange them in a frame. Celebrate Vintage Type These days, we can type on tiny keyboards and then stow them in our pockets. It’s hard to think of a time when type had to be arranged on a large press, letter by letter in order to print newspapers and books. Keep your eyes peeled at antique stores for vintage wood type letters. Spell out a phrase (letters will be reversed) or combine them at random for a gorgeous type collage. Or, frame a single page out of an old type book. Down to the Letter Craft stores carry large flat wooden letters, ready to paint and hang on your walls. Spell out a name, hang a single letter (such as your last initial) or spell out a phrase you like. Similarly, use vintage children’s block to spell out a name or phrase. Spelling out something slightly subversive or ironic will help keep your living room from looking like a nursery. It’s Gotta Be a Sign Seek out interesting type in the world around you: old signs, painted advertisements, sky writing or inspiring messages scrawled with sidewalk chalk. Take photos and frame the photos of the text. Put the Important Text on Display You spent lots of time choosing just the write text and wording for your wedding invitation. Frame an extra and hang it alongside your wedding photos. Make a copy of the liner notes of a song with life-changing lyrics. Words on Fabric Embroider a single word or a short phrase and hang the fabric, still in the embroidery hoop. Trim out the text from the front of a worn out T-shirt and frame it flat. Or, use words on fabric to make a small pillow. Make Custom Word Art Go to http://www.wordle.net/ to create art based on any words you want, for free. Put in your own, or the Web site will import words from your own blog or any Web site. You can change the color scheme and typeface. Wed, 01 Apr 2009 2:15:22 EST http://www.brickweekly.com/index.php/features/pick_of_the_week_4.2.09/ 2009/04/01 Music | Born Like This DOOM / Lex Holy shit! The last time we heard new material from Viktor Vaughn was—what? That bullshit 20-minute commercial he did for Adult Swim? The completely unnecessary remix of MADVILLAINY Madlib shat out because Stones Throw was running out of money? It’s been FIVE YEARS since the man’s last proper record, but it sounds like he’s been training like a motherfucking CHAMPION the entire time. DOOM—drop the MF please, that’s so 2004—is officially back in the game, and he’s hungry, killing on the mic like a man possessed. Bow down, true believers—the Supervillain is in town again, and HE. IS. PISSED. Music | Fuckbook Condo Fucks / Matador It was the blagosphere’s worst kept secret. We all knew that the Fucks were Yo La Tengo weeks before they first hit the stage last week, but it didn’t really matter—watching the Elder Statesmen of Weepy Indie Pop tearing through a set of proto-punk garage classics was almost like a religious experience. It’s a minor miracle that they were able to capture that reckless energy on record. Yeah, it’s a covers album, and it’s raw and ugly and completely beautiful, like an angry letter to your very first love. Music | I Blame You Obits / Sub Pop Rick Froberg’s playing music again! As one-half of Drive Like Jehu and Hot Snakes, the man will forever get a free pass from me. But it’s a good thing that the disc can stand on its own merits, crackling with the energy of classic garage rock with an absolutely poisonous dose of post-punk bile. There’s an urgency to the affair that’s sorely lacking from modern rock and roll, gloriously self-indulgent and primal in its own formal certainty. And they’re playing next week in Harrisonburg! GET THEE TO MACROCK, STAT! Movie | Battle in Seattle Stuart Townsend / Screen Media Could there be anything more banal than a fictionalized account about privileged self-important white kids acting like they actually give a damn, recreating an event that was—at best—the temper tantrum of an upper-class generation that never knew serious hardship? Townsend treats the N30 riot like it was goddamn Tiananmen Square redux, with disastrous and unintentionally hilarious results. I’m all for beating the crap out of more these brats, if it’ll knock a little sense and perspective into their heads. Movie | Moving Midway Geoffrey Cheshire / First Run Features ALTERNATE TITLE: WHY THE SOUTH STILL SUCKS. Ostensibly, this doc is about the Chesire family’s Fitzcarraldo-like attempt to relocate a classic southern plantation in order to escape suburban sprawl; underneath, the film is a powerful statement about the mythologies of the South, and how they still serve to wordlessly reinforce a framework of implicative social class stratification. There is no reconciliation with the past—only remembrance, and debate, and an effort to learn from our mistakes. Wed, 25 Mar 2009 1:36:03 EST http://www.brickweekly.com/index.php/features/pick_of_the_week_3.26/ 2009/03/25 Music | Grace/Wastelands Pete Doherty / Astralwerks Underneath all the hoary rock clichés and idiotic PR stunts surrounding Doherty’s drugged-out career, he’s actually a severely talented songwriter—a little Costello, a little Buckley and a litte Bacharach, with a bit of mid-90s Britpop flair and swagger thrown in for good measure. I’ve always been an unapologetic fan of his work as Babyshambles, and I’ll stand by his eponymous solo work as well—it’s sharp, clever and catchy, representing some of the best-constructed pop released thus far in 2009. Music | Blitz KMFDM / Metropolis I could have sworn this band broke up years ago, but the almighty Google tells me that they’ve released no less than five albums in the time since. I’ve never really had any issue with KMFDM—out of their mid-90s industrial peers, they always had the best sense of self-aware humor and irony—but THIS ALBUM SOUNDS LIKE THE SAME OLD INDUSTRIAL POP GRIND THEY’VE BEEN PRODUCING FOR NEARLY THREE DECADES. Let’s all grow up a little, huh? Music | Crack the Skye Mastodon / Reprise The new Mastodon album is apparently about quantum physics and astral travel, and blathers on somewhere in there about Stephen Hawking. But you know what? All you need to know is that this is the first Mastodon album in three years, that it doesn’t hit with the immediacy of their last effort, but it’s still a very good metal album and it is BRUTAL AS FUCK. This probably won’t be my top metal album of the year, but it’s definitely in the top ten. Book | Songs for the Missing Stewart O’Nan / Viking Adult This book begins like a run-of-the-mill police procedural about a missing girl, but it soon turns into an engrossing (if exhausting) portrayal of sadness and recovery. O’Nan keeps his focus on how the girl’s loss affects her friends and family, offering deeply moving character studies about the nature of loss in the process. The novel’s a bit over-crowded, and the ending is a tad too tidy, but it’s a nice—if somewhat heavy—read. Movie | Praying with Lior Ilana Trachtman / First Run Features This sickeningly sweet documentary is about a boy with Down syndrome who is, according to his family and neighbors, some sort of spiritual genius. And it almost works, especially when Trachtman tries to capture the quirky family dynamics in play between Lior and his family. But every time she turns the camera to Lior, the film quickly goes downhill, turning into a pathetic pity play about how disabled people REALLY CAN LIVE NORMAL LIVES! Fuck that condescending bullshit.  Wed, 18 Mar 2009 1:25:01 EST http://www.brickweekly.com/index.php/features/pick_of_the_week_3.19/ 2009/03/18 MOVIE | I Can Wonder What You Did With Your Day Julie Doiron / Jagjaguwar It’s Julie Doiron. We love Julie Doiron unconditionally ’round these parts. She has one of the most heartbreakingly beautiful voices in the business, often responsible for turning what might have been otherwise so-so folk-pop ditties into devastating meditations on loss and mourning. Even when the keys are major and the melodies are uplifting—like in her latest for perennial local favorite Jagjaguwar—the aching tenderness in her voice reveals layers of honest vulnerability that other, lesser singers can only aspire to. Really, you kind of want to hold her close and tell her everything is all right, even when everything apparently is all right. MUSIC | Loveless My Bloody Valentine / Sony BMG You know, this brand-new edition of this perpetually storied album reminds me a bit of when Rhino triumphantly released “re-mastered” versions of the Jesus and Mary Chain—a bit laughable, hilariously unnecessary, and ultimately useless. As far as I can tell, Shields’ definitive version of this now-classic album is a little bit louder. Pass on this one, unless you’re one of the few souls who have yet to hear this modern classic. MUSIC | Beware Bonnie Prince Billy / Drag City Another year, another album from our Bonnie Prince. It is, as always, a hit-and-miss affair, sorely in need of an editor; some of the songs are pure wistful gold, while others will grate on your nerves, and yet others sound more like they were drunkenly thrown together in the studio with little thought or preparation. Once again, the man is best experienced live; only his most ardent fans will find this disc a worthwhile purchase. MOVIE | Fidel! Saul Landau / Microcinema Here are three ways to ruin any good dinner party: 1). Talk about abortion. 2). Start chatting about how we live in a “post-racial” society now. 3). Mention El Comandante. No man in recent history has inspired as much vitriol and admiration—often from the same people—as dear old Fidel. While this documentary veers dangerously close to propaganda at times, it’s still a fascinating view of one of the most charismatic men to ever grace history, and a beautifully shot window into early post-Revolution Cuba. BOOK | A Jury of Her Peers Elaine Showalter / Knopf This might be the first attempt to offer a history of American women writers from the last 350 years. At its best, it’s incisive and deeply edifying; at its worst, it can seem flimsy. I just finished a biography of John Cheever that clocks in at 700 pages; devoting merely 600 pages to an unjustly ignored part of our cultural heritage seems, at first glance, trivial. But as a comprehensive survey by a single scholar, it’s a masterful piece of work, and well worth the price of admission. Wed, 11 Mar 2009 1:47:34 EST http://www.brickweekly.com/index.php/features/trace_evidence/ 2009/03/11 Who do you think you’re kidding with those bare walls? Seriously, did you even read the article I wrote about framing your photos? I know it’s a recession and you don’t have money for art. So let’s make some. Don’t give me any excuses about not being an artist. You’ve read this far, so you’re at least slightly creative, and we’re going to break the rules today and TRACE some photos to make art. (It’s fun to break the rules, once in a while.) Of course, it’s only right that I interject to say that it’s one thing to trace someone’s photographs to make art that hangs on your own wall, but not to make art to sell. Some flickr users allow their photos to be used under the creative commons license. When in doubt, email the photographer and ask permission, or use your own photographs as a starting point. You can choose any color or pattern fabric that you like, but a subtle, mostly monotone (one color) pattern will probably work best. A “fat quarter” will give you more than enough fabric First, we need an image. Use google image search or search on flickr.com for your subject. It may help to include the word “silhouette” with your search term. A simple, clear silhouette of a single object will work best for this project. In Photoshop, enlarge the photo to an entire 8.5” x 11” page. It doesn’t matter if the picture gets a little fuzzy when you do. In the Filter menu, select Stylize and then Find Edges. This should give you a coloring book style outline of the silhouette. Print this page. What if I don’t have Photoshop? You need an outline version of your image, and it will need to fill an 8.5” x 11” page. Another way to achieve this is to use a photocopier to blow up the image, then trace the outlines of that image by hand onto another sheet of paper. Get to Work 1. Cut your fabric to about 12˝× 14˝ and iron out any wrinkles. 2. Now it’s time to trace. Place four pieces of tape on the wrong side of your paper. Lay the paper (tape and design side up) on your work surface, and center your fabric on the paper, taping the two together. Now, tape the fabric to your window, making sure the fabric is smooth. 3. Begin to trace the outlines onto the fabric with the paint pen. Don’t worry about filling in areas yet, just trace the whole image onto the fabric. When you’ve gotten the image traced, pull the tape and the paper off. 4. Place your fabric design-side down on your work surface. You should be able to see the paint pen through the back of the fabric. Line up your canvas so that it’s centered on the fabric. 5. The design that I used would still look OK if it were slightly crooked, so I went right to stapling. If your design absolutely must be straight, use masking tape to stretch the fabric over the canvas, and then check it out before you staple. 6. Staple two sides of the fabric into the wood back of the canvas. The fabric should be taut, but not pulling where you have stapled it. Fold the third and fourth sides as though you were wrapping a present, and staple these as well. Trim excess fabric. Optionally, cover the edges of the fabric with masking tape. 7. Now turn your canvas back over and use the paint pen to fill in your design. If your design goes all the way to the edge, continue the design so it, too, wraps around. You may have to fake it a little bit, (I know, I know, you’re not an artist) but you’re just drawing lines. 8. Finally, sign your name to your work of art, and hang that baby up! Check out these flickr groups for great silhouettes: http://www.flickr.com/groups/natures_silhouettes http://www.flickr.com/groups/silhouettesinbw http://www.flickr.com/groups/birdsilhouettes WEB | http://www.thehipstersguide.com Wed, 11 Mar 2009 1:25:10 EST http://www.brickweekly.com/index.php/features/pick_of_the_week_3.12/ 2009/03/11 Movie | Happy-Go-Lucky Mike Leigh / Miramax Along with “Man on Wire,” “Happy-Go-Lucky” was one of my favorite films of 2008, if only because I left the theatre with a general sense of contentment and belief in the greater good of all of mankind. Now that it’s out on DVD, none of you have an excuse to miss this charming character study about an irrepressibly cheerful young British woman named Poppy, played by the wonderful Sally Hawkins. Hawkins crouches Poppy’s optimism in neither naivety nor blind stupidity; instead, Poppy just seems naturally, wonderfully and infectiously exuberant. Everyone deserves a friend like her, and the world would be a much better place if everyone was like her. Go. GO! Rent this film NOW. Music | Radio Wars Howling Bells / 101 Fuck you, Australia. Stop sending me music. Don’t you guys have kangaroos to molest, or shrimp to throw on a Barbie doll, or something to that effect? Music | S/T The Pains of Being Pure at Heart / Slumberland My, my, isn’t this band just TWEE AS FUCK. For chrissakes, I thought we left that all behind a couple of years ago, when we collectively decided that disco-ass-punk was the new hotness. At times, when they sound like Talulah Gosh, the band is almost bearable; at other times, when they sound like the shit-stains left in Calvin Johnson’s toilet, I’m tempted to drive down to Olympia and burn down the K Records building through the sheer power of my hatred. One day, they will burn. Oh yes, how they will burn. Movie | Let the Right One In Tomas Alfredson / Magnolia Pictures Never has a film with so many scenes of brutal murder and dismemberment been so tender and heartwarming. Superficially, the flick’s about a lonely, bullied little Swedish boy, and the young, pretty vampire girl that lives in the apartment next to him. Underneath, it’s a treatment on the awkwardness of youth, the fallout of divorce amidst the working-class, and the inherent loneliness of teen angst. The movie is brilliantly casted, gorgeously shot, and sweetly haunting. God bless the Swedes and their lovably quirky obsession with death. Book | My Little Red Book Various / Twelve Are you there, God? It’s me, Jacob. I’d like to ask you why I get sent some of this shit. I mean, it’s an entertaining read featuring some very talented writers, and all the proceeds from the sale of this book are going to a very good cause, but really now—DO I SEEM LIKE THE RIGHT PERSON TO REVIEW A COLLECTION OF STORIES ABOUT WHAT IT WAS LIKE FOR WOMEN TO GET THEIR FIRST PERIOD? No. No, I am not. But for everyone else—go ahead and pick it up, if only to support some pretty worthy charities. Thu, 05 Mar 2009 10:26:30 EST http://www.brickweekly.com/index.php/features/hipsters_guide_transform_your_television/ 2009/03/05 I remember one of my teachers in high school saying that future archaeologists would think we considered our televisions to be gods. We place them on top of pedestals, with every seat in the room facing the screen. Hours of worship are 24 hours a day, seven days a week. In the years since I was in high school, our televisions have gotten flatter, larger and now offer many more channels at higher definition. I’ve lived with and without televisions; with premium cable packages and with a set whose sole purpose was to be a vehicle for video games. I currently have two in my house, and there are definitely times when I don’t even want to look at them. Assuming you have a set, and assuming it’s centralized in at least one room of your house, there are likely to be times where you wish you could hide it. The TV Pixelator I originally stumbled on this idea a few years back in an issue of ReadyMade magazine. Their plans included wax paper and toilet paper tubes, but I wanted something sturdier. After trying a few different combinations, this is what I came up with. A TV pixelator is great for parties. Turn on a bright and colorful channel with fast edits and lots of colors (think music videos or cartoons) and hit the mute button. Place the pixelator in front of your television and put on your own music for an instant light show. Supplies will vary slightly, because you’ll need to measure your television and adjust measurements accordingly. To build the outside box and the front panel, you can use whatever scrap wood you have lying around, or can salvage from another project. Pine craft boards were only $1.50 each. The PVC couplers (the hard plastic straight pieces that are meant to connect two pieces of PVC pipe) run about 40 cents a piece. You can use any type of white fabric, as long as light will shine through it. Even an old white T-shirt would work. Here’s what I used for my 20” set: • Three 2˝ × 36˝ craft boards • 16˝ × 3˝ balsa wood panel • 39 1½˝ PVC couplers • 12˝ × 14˝ picture frame • 13˝ × 15˝ piece of white knit fabric YOU’ll ALSO NEED • Black spray paint • Hammer & nails • Staple gun • Saw (hand or jig) • Wood glue • Strong craft glue (I like E-6000.) Get to Work! 1. Before you buy anything else, measure your television and estimate the number of PVC couplers you will need. I used 39 couplers for my 17” set. Buy these first. Use plenty of craft glue to stick them together, making a big piece that will cover the majority of your screen, without overlapping it. Once it’s dry, measure the finished coupler piece. 2. Use this measurement to determine how big your box will be and the amount of wood you’ll need to make it. It will also tell you what size picture frame you’ll need. If you’re not familiar with standard frame sizes, you may want to trace the shape of your coupler piece onto a large sheet of paper, which you can bring with you to the frame store. My coupler piece measured 12” x 16”, which is a standard frame size. 3. After buying the rest of your supplies, measure and cut your wood to the correct sizes. Build the outside box that the coupler will fit into, and use wood glue to adhere the corners together. Clamp these, or use pieces of painters’ tape to hold them together while they dry. Check your wood glue’s instructions to see how long they’ll need to set (mine said 30 minutes) and then hammer nails through the spots you just glued. 4. Place your coupler piece into the frame (it should fit snugly) and turn the whole piece upside down. Finish the frame by gluing, and then nailing the inside board. Measure and cut the bass wood to fit the space below the coupler piece. 5. Remove the coupler piece from the wood frame, and spray paint the entire wood frame black. If your picture frame isn’t black, remove the glass and spray paint the frame. 6. Use a thin line of epoxy glue to adhere the glass to the picture frame. (There will be some space between the glass and the fabric. This will ensure that the glass doesn’t slide around.) Use a staple gun to stretch the fabric over the back of the frame. Trim fabric to fit, and cover the edges of the fabric with clear tape, to keep them from fraying. 7. Place the coupler piece back into the wood frame. Finally, use the epoxy glue to glue the back of the picture frame to the front of your wood frame, centering the frame on the couplers. 8. Place your Pixelator in front of your television and enjoy your own personal light show! See the pixelator in action at http://www.thehipstersguide.com Thu, 05 Mar 2009 9:06:50 EST http://www.brickweekly.com/index.php/features/media_mix_a_sampling_of_entertainment_options/ 2009/03/05 GAMES TECMO BOWL: KICKOFF Blame my backlog for me doing a post-season review of a football title, but any old-school sports gamer worth his salt will tell you that Tecmo Bowl is a timeless football franchise. The original Tecmo Bowl and the sequels that followed set a benchmark for eight and 16-bit arcade-style football video games.  It’s a shame that the recent update Tecmo Bowl: Kickoff doesn’t do the same, but it’s a solid game nonetheless. In essence, Kickoff is a remake of the Super Nintendo version of Tecmo Super Bowl with added stylus controls.  For that reason, the game doesn’t push the DS in any way, but the old-school graphics will make you feel like 1987 all over again. While you can run plays using the directional pad, the stylus works better for nearly every task.  In fact, stylus control is a benefit when it comes to selecting receivers and trying to change which player to control on the DS’ small screen. Tecmo Bowl doesn’t have an NFL license, but the included teams are well-balanced.  You can also improve your players’ attributes by winning more games in season mode and winning the Tecmo Bowl itself. What other game includes an imaginary team called the Los Angeles Supercocks?  No, I’m not making that up and, yes, they are referring to roosters. Sure, you can rename your teams and players, but what fun would that be? Tecmo Bowl: Kickoff is available for the Nintendo DS for $29.99.  -Korey Hughes http://www.tecmogames.com COMICS THE LAGOON by Lilly Carre, $14.99, Fantagraphics I had some pretty big hopes for Lilly Carre’s second full length graphic novel, THE LAGOON. In indy comix circles the book has been touted as a hot thang. Does it hold up under the weight of expectation? Um, sorta? Carre’s cartooning is purely excellent, evolving nicely from her earlier work and pulling you into a world of vividly drawn characters and lush environments. She tells the story of a family living by a swamp, haunted (or blessed?) by the siren song of the swamp’s monstrous denizen. There is a nice balance between whimsy and dread, which is a space I sure do like to inhabit. But upon completion, giving the book some careful consideration, it doesn’t stick to the ribs as much as I’d hoped. We never really get to know the family that well, so we don’t really care about their fates. This is a solid second effort, and I look forward to seeing how Carre progresses as an artist. I hope next time around she breathes as much life into the chracters as she does her linework.  -Patrick Godfrey Brought to you by Velocity Comics 904 West Broad St. http://www.velocitycomics.com Picks of the Week MUSIC Middle Cyclone Neko Case / ANTI- Okay, let’s just talk about that cover for a moment: do you see that? It’s the lovely Ms. Case, threateningly wielding a sword whilst riding atop the hood of a 1968 Mercury Cougar. REPEAT: neko case is about to fuck your shit up from atop the hood of a 1968 mercury cougar! With a sword! The album art alone is enough to instantly catapult this disc to my Top 10 list of ’09, and I haven’t even taken off the shrinkwrap yet. Ladies and gentleman, I don’t need to listen to the music to tell you that this is excellent stuff, because there is a picture of neko case on top of a car wielding a sword. Qed. All the Plans Starsailor / EMI Jesus, it’s Starsailor. I can’t stand Starsailor. They’re emblematic of a frightening pattern in British rock post-OK COMPUTER, wherein every band produced by our once-proud neighbors across the sea ends up sounding like a sackless bunch of twats who’re too busy blowing each other to remember what true rock and roll is like. This is staggeringly boring and formulaic stuff, akin to watching NASCAR without the booze—it’s just a bunch of musicians driving around in goddamn circles, and we’re all left hoping that they’ll eventually drive themselves into the ground. Invaders Must Die The Prodigy / Cooking Vinyl Ah. Smells like high school. Hey, look—I’ll be the first to admit that I still occasionally rock FAT OF THE LAND to this day, which was a fun blast of punk-infused Big Beat goodness. But the new disc sounds almost exactly like the same old shit they were serving up a decade ago—mindlessly brutal with neither subtlety nor grace, buried under synths that sounded new and fresh when they were on Madden ’98. The album is a goddamn cliché in nearly every way. MOVIE Ashes of Time Redux Wong Kar Wai / Sony Pictures Most of us know Wong Kar Wai as a chronicler of urban loneliness, a true artist that has captured the dichotomy of being young and desperately alone in a city teeming with other people. So this odd little gem sticks out like a sore thumb in his otherwise pristine filmography. Having Wong at the helm of a Wuxia epic is like hiring Jean Luc Godard to direct the next Pirates of the Caribbean movie; it’s terribly disconcerting, and doesn’t make for great film, even if it is an interesting watch. For fans only, those new to Wong should probably pick up Fallen Angels. BOOK Every Man Dies Alone Hans Fallada / Melville House It’s a literary crime that it took over 50 years for someone to translate this novel into English. Fallada’s final novel is, without a doubt, one of the finest testaments to the darkest years of the 20th century. Fallada breathlessly weaves a tale of a failed German resistance movement in-between startlingly touching depictions of the lives affected, directly and indirectly, by the war itself. It is in every way the perfect depiction of the hope inherent in the idea of the futile gesture, and the often unknowable human cost behind ostensibly arbitrary decisions.  – jacob lee Wed, 25 Feb 2009 1:59:08 EST http://www.brickweekly.com/index.php/features/wine_tasting_with_a_twist_part_2/ 2009/02/25 Last week we talked about preparing for a fun and fancy wine tasting party. This week, I thought I’d tell you what happened at our party, and give you our humble suggestions for some decent bottles of wine in the ten dollar range! In case you missed last week, here’s the set up: Each guest brings a bottle of wine in the ten dollar range, as well as a ten dollar bill. All of the ten dollar bills go into a jar, and everyone will vote in a blind taste test of each of the wines. After everyone tastes the wines and votes, whoever brought the winning bottle of wine will take home the cash! We served chocolate desserts as well as an assortment of cheeses. We also found it was helpful to have a large bottle of inexpensive wine to serve guests when they first arrived, since the wine tasting can’t start until everyone is there. As your guests arrive, take their bottles of wine into a room where no one can see them. Ask them to write a short description of the wine, plus its name, where they got it, and how much it cost. (If they haven’t tried the wine before, or can’t come up with a description, check the label before you cover it up.) Cover each bottle’s label with a sheet of paper and assign each bottle a number. Make a tent card with the number and description for every bottle. When all of your guests have arrived, set out the wines, un-cork each bottle, and let the tasting begin! Provide each of your guests with a pen and a piece of paper so they can jot down notes as they are tasting. Finally, have each guest choose their two favorites and place their votes into a jar. Once all the votes are in, tally up the votes and announce the winner! After your party, send each of your guests an email with the information about each of the wines, so they can go out and try them again, if they like. (It’s also nice to thank them for coming to your party!) Some people in our group were wine enthusiasts, and some were only casual wine drinkers. Interestingly, everyone brought reds. Our winner won by one point, and we had a tie for second place. TOP PICK! Horton, Cabernet Franc 2006 A rich leathery red with a hint of tobacco. Firm structure and a spicy finish. Coto De Hayas, Campo de Boja Tinto 2006 A middle-weight Spanish wine with a fruity, not-too-complex flavor. Well structured with a lengthy finish. Running with Scissors, Cabernet Sauvignon 2006 Award winning cutting-edge cabernet with enticing black cherry notes. Laurent Miquel, Cabernet Syrah 2006 Cabernet from Southern France with rich chocolate and black currant flavors and a smooth finish. Chateau Morrisette, The Black Dog A dry red with a cherry and currant finish. Visit the Horton, Virginia winery’s Web site and find out where you can get a bottle of our pick. WEB | http://www.hvwine.com This popular wine blog gives its opitions on some of the best wines, including an under $15 list. WEB | http://www.wineloverspage.com/qpr A comprehensive glossary of wine terms. WEB | http://www.lovewine.org Bonus Project: Make simple wine charms so your guests can keep their glasses straight. A set of four or six of these also makes a great gift. String a few beads, small pieces of ribbon, or a simple charm onto 1” earring hoops, (find them in the jewelry making section of your favorite craft store) making sure each hoop is different from the others and easily distinguishable. Close the end of the earring and bend ½” of the wire up so it stays closed. Place one on the stem of each wine glass. Wed, 25 Feb 2009 1:29:45 EST http://www.brickweekly.com/index.php/features/pick_of_the_week_for_2.26/ 2009/02/25 MOVIE | Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About His Father Kurt Kuenne / Oscilloscope Oh God. Oh Holy mother of Christ on a shiny pole! This emotionally exhausting documentary covers one of the greatest injustices of recent history, wherein a frighteningly manipulative woman named Shirley Turner murdered her boyfriend in cold blood, but roamed free with their child in hand. Why? Because she fled to Canada, where she remained out on bail by the whimsies of an incompetent Justice named Gale Welsh. Later, in 2003, Turner drowned her child and then committed suicide. And what has Canada done so far? NOTHING. FUCK CANADA AND FUCK WELSH. I WANT THAT BINT DISBARRED AND TRIED FOR MURDER. Watch this film, and you’ll be screaming for blood, too! MUSIC | Wrath Lamb of God / Epic / Roadrunner I live in Richmond, write for a Richmond rag, and adore metal. Therefore, I am contractually obligated to love this album. Roadrunner could have stuck to their same ol’, same ol’ routine of sending me pressed vaccum-sealed shit, and I still would have slobbered all over this disc like a cock-hungry crack whore trying to cut a deal. It is raw, aggressive and will rip your balls off faster than an angry second-wave feminist who just got shit-canned by NOW. MUSIC | Dimensions The Lovetones / Planting Seeds Anyone remember when I said no good music comes out of Australia? Well, looks like the record still stands. I would pay good money for any engineering plan that could strategically bomb the crap out of that worthless continent while leaving their awesome kiwi neighbors in one piece. Look, dudes: Jefferson Airplane is not cool, okay? You are totally not allowed to peddle this regressive hippie bullshit until you get a girl as hot as Grace Slick in your band. BOOK | First Execution Domenico Starnone / Europa Editions Dear Mr. Starnone: Just because you are Italian does not mean that you are anywhere close to being as good as Italo Calvino. Your piddling foray into post-modern metafiction wankery comes off as contrived and immature, reeking of an inability to pull off an actual plot without resorting to parlor tricks and witless intertextual reflexivity. Aren’t there some semiotics professors you should be fellating or something? MOVIE | Chris & Don. A Love Story Tina Mascara/Guido Santi / Zeitgeist Films First, let’s get this out of the way: yes, this documentary is about a gay couple, and yes, Christopher Isherwood was 30 years older than Don Bachardy. And yeah, if you think about it too much, the age difference is a tad disturbing (the two met when Bachardy was 18). But if you let that get in the way, you’d be missing a beautifully realized love letter from one partner to another, in a masterfully put together film that celebrates a heartbreakingly extraordinary relationship Wed, 18 Feb 2009 1:55:20 EST http://www.brickweekly.com/index.php/features/wine_tasting_with_a_twist/ 2009/02/18 It’s fun to class things up every now and then. Some people buy expensive handbags. Some people sit through foreign films or try to understand classic literature. And some of us drink wine – a LOT of us, actually. Despite (or perhaps due to) economic stress, 67 percent of Americans are wine drinkers, with 55 percent of them enjoying it more than once a week. In 2007, three gallons of wine were consumed for every person in the states. Show of hands: who can consume that much in a weekend? Be honest. If you’re overwhelmed by choosing a bottle to go with dinner, then hosting a wine tasting party may seem completely out of the question. But you don’t have to be an expert to throw this fun and fancy wine and cheese tasting party. Wine party show down Invite about 10 guests to join you for a night of wine tasting. Have them bring a 10 dollar bill and a 10 dollar bottle of wine. You’ll provide the cheese and chocolate. Guests will sample and vote on each wine in a blind taste-test. Whoever brought the crowd favorite takes home the cash. Everyone will enjoy tasting several wines, there will be plenty to go around, and everyone loves the chance to win the prize money! You’ll Need: • 2 pounds fresh strawberries ($6) • 1 package chocolate bark coating ($3) • 1 box chocolate cake mix ($1) • Other party accoutrements, such as smoked almonds, crusty bread, and olives. ($10) • Large bottle of inexpensive wine to get your party started ($10) • An assortment of cheese ($30) Chocolate Covered Strawberries Chocolate Covered Strawberries are always a crowd favorite, and they’re not that difficult to make. Directions Cover a piece of Styrofoam (an empty egg carton turned upside down will work) with plastic wrap. Wash strawberries, leaving the leaves and stems attached, then dry them thoroughly. Place a tooth pick into the end of each strawberry. Chocolate bark coating can be melted in a double boiler on your stove, or in the microwave. Follow the package directions. Once it’s melted, remove it from the heat source. Holding onto the toothpick, dip each strawberry into the chocolate. Let the excess chocolate drip off, then stick the other end of the toothpick into your Styrofoam or egg carton. Letting the strawberries dry this way will prevent a flat side. Once the chocolate has hardened, remove the toothpicks and refrigerate until it’s party time. Dark Chocolate Cupcakes with Cabernet Frosting There’s no shame in using a boxed mix, especially when you’re dressing them up with fancy frosting. Prepare cupcakes from a box mix and let them cool completely. Directions Prepare a butter cream frosting by mixing 1 cup (2 sticks) of softened unsalted butter with 3 cups of sifted confectioner’s sugar. First, beat the butter alone at a medium speed for about two minutes, or until it turns a light yellow color. Add the sugar ½ cup at a time, beating well between each addition. Finally, add ¼ cup of Cabernet and 1 tsp of vanilla extract. If the frosting is too thick, you can add a little milk. If it’s too thin, add more sugar. The wine will turn your frosting purple. Adding a little bit of red food coloring may turn it a slightly more appetizing shade. Cheese Platter Since you don’t know what wines people will be bringing to your party, you don’t have to worry about pairing your cheeses. A well-rounded cheese platter contains a sampling from each of the following categories: firm, soft, aged and blue. There’s a lot of room for your own favorites here, but here’s what I served: Firm: Asiago, $7 for a large wedge. Soft: Brie, packaged round with rind, about $10. Aged: Aged Australian Cheddar, $9/lb. Blue: Cave Aged Gorgonzola, $4 for a small packaged wedge. Directions Take cheese out of the refrigerator about an hour before serving. Serve cheeses on a cutting board, along with slices of crusty bread. Soft cheeses can be served on a plate. Provide a knife for each cheese. If you choose a stinky feet-smelling cheese, place it on its own plate or board. I served slices of pears along with my Gorgonzola. For the Brie, I placed it on an oven-safe dish and softened it by baking it in a 500° oven for a few minutes, then topped it with a mixture of ½ cup chopped pecans, ½ cup brown sugar and 2 TBSP brandy, and placed it back into the oven for just a couple more minutes, until the brown sugar mixture was bubbly. Wed, 18 Feb 2009 1:38:35 EST http://www.brickweekly.com/index.php/features/pick_of_the_week_for_2.19/ 2009/02/18 MUSIC | It’s Not Me, It’s You Lily Allen / Capitol How could anyone dislike Lily Allen? You just want to hug her, squeeze her tight, and then ask her to do unmentionable things to your body. That said, her musical output has generally ranged from pleasantly quirky to annoyingly precious, never sounding much better than a second-rate Specials knock-off. But now she’s venturing into the Eurotrash discotheque pop previously owned wholly by the Scandinavians, and she’s much better for it. It’s less dancehall, more Abba, and filled with more hooks than a dungeon owned by a dominatrix with a particularly disturbing fetish for fishing. BOOK | The Future of Liberalism Alan Wolfe / Knopf I never quite understood books like this, which allow liberals to pat themselves on the back while remaining roundly ignored by conservatives. I mean, Wolfe’s take on the definition of liberalism is fine and dandy, providing ample ammo to back up the universal claim that conservatives are morally-bankrupt pedophiles with no sense of empathy or compassion, but what good does it do when you’re just preachin’ to the choir? MUSIC | March of the Zapotec / Holland Beirut / Ba Da Bing It took a while, but Condon—he that is Beirut nee Realpeople—has finally moved beyond the chanson pop of his earlier records, settling into some strange drunken groove between Serge Gainsbourg and Calexico. It’s charmingly anachronistic, even if it doesn’t really move with any sense of urgency; it’s the type of album best reserved for aimless midnight drives across the state line. MUSIC | That Beep Architecture in Helsinki / Polyvinyl You know what happens when the Canadians form musical collectives? We get acts like Broken Social Scene and Godspeed You Black! Emperor. When the Brits do it, we get great ripcord pop like Los Campesinos!. But when the goddamn Aussies get around to it, we get half-baked ’80s New Wave revivalism, coming off like a campy mix of Men at Work, the B-52s and sheer suck. NO GOOD MUSIC COMES FROM AUSTRALIA, PEOPLE. THIS IS A FACT. IT IS PROVEN BY SCIENCE. MUSIC | Years of Refusal Morrissey / Lost Highway Last night, I spent the better part of the evening learning how to play “There is a Light That Never Goes Out.” Man, that was a great song. You couldn’t really beat that one-two Morrissey/Marr punch. So it’s a damn shame that, much like the Wonder Twins, the two are GODDAMN USELESS WHEN SEPARATED. Smith powers, activate! Form of an actual listenable album that doesn’t choke on donkey balls! GO!!!