The economy just seems to get bleaker and bleaker with each passing day. The cash-strapped Fayette County school system in North Carolina is asking its teachers to voluntarily return the pay raises they received last spring, U.S. foreclosure filings increased 71 percent in the third quarter from a year earlier to the highest on record, orders placed with U.S. factories in November fell twice as much as forecast and on top of it all, president-elect Barack Obama told David Gregory on NBC’s, “Meet The Press” that he believes the economy will get worse before it gets better.
 
Everyone I know has been talking about the economy. Friends have been laid off or have had their pay drastically reduced, their savings have dwindled to the point of tragiccomedy and those still gainfully employed go to work each day wondering if today is the day they get canned. To make matters worse, it seems that no one knows how to fix the mess. Well, rest easy, my friends, help is on the way. Here are two bona fide solutions to get our country out of the economic mess that we are in.
 
  1.  Legalize Drugs
 
  It’s high time that we stop letting hysteria rule the need to alter one’s consciousness and start taxing each line snorted, every bong hit inhaled and every pill popped. As a nation, we’ve waged a costly and completely ineffectual war on drugs since the 1930s when Harry J. Anslinger, the first director of the Federal Bureau of Narcotics, drew upon the themes of racism and violence to draw national attention to the problem he wanted to create. And what do we have to show for this useless puritanical legality concerning drug use? Absolutely nothing. Despite the untold billions of dollars wasted trying to get people not to use drugs, people are higher now than they’ve ever been. Also, by legalizing drugs, you take the criminality out of the act of getting high and,  in one fell swoop, a million criminal, non-tax-paying enterprises vanish into thin air. Sure, it will get ugly when the drug floodgates open, but the boost to the economy that taxable, legal highs would bring would be far preferable to maintaining the money-draining practices of futile prohibition. The same rules that apply to nicotine and alcohol should apply to all drugs.
 
  2. Tax Churches
 
  Why imaginary friend believers are excused from tax responsibilities that agnostics and atheists have to pay is beyond me. Religion, in its many forms and guises, is a business and a very profitable one. Why shouldn’t they be taxed accordingly? If we were only to tax the Catholic Church on its property holdings in the United States, we could fund health care for all American citizens. Call me crazy, but I think that would be something Jesus would give the green light to. I don’t mean to pick on the Catholic Church, as I find all religions equally irrational, delusional and dangerous, but what other business could get away with molesting children and not have to close up shop? If they were touching kids at K-Mart, they’d be out of business. Charities and educational institutions receive their tax-exempt status because they are required by law to serve the general public equally. Churches, however, do not. They are free to discriminate, and do discriminate with the power of their various superstitions and lackeys in government, against people who do not share their beliefs (this is called the “ministerial exemption”). To drive the point home to the proverbial Promised Land, consider that for every tax dollar a religious organization does not pay, you and I have to make up the difference. That’s a lot of fucking money. While church groups do not have to pay income tax and do not have to pay taxes on property they own, reversing these egregious and unwarranted tax breaks would do the nation a whole lot of financial good.

Hey y’all!  Bill Bevins here!  The high I get from drugs is nothing like the high I get from a good night’s sleep.  That’s why I sleep on a Sealy Posturpedic mattress from BedCrafters.  BedCrafters is a down home mattress store…and gosh darn it, they really care.  So stop in today, and tell ‘em Billy sentcha!

Liberty - I was trying to infer that ‘corporations’ are the larger tools of government.  I’m afraid for your sake doing away with taxes is impossible.  We already have lots of socialized services in this country and if you’ve been following the news you would realize that we need still more of them to avoid complete collapse.  While I would prefer a tax free society as well, we would be left with far fewer of the niceties you congratulate businesses for providing.  Unfortunately, if you want a new nation you’ll have to go start one somewhere else.  And turning this into a liberal/conservative argument misses the point.  The two party system and the division of the people is the reason so few have so much control currently.  Libertarians need to wise up and realize that the all of us share the shame frustration.  Think hard about the prospect of free trade and global capitalism.  Both more and less government regulation put us in the mess we have now.  Perhaps government is the problem, but social compassion and classic liberalism (read: not American Liberalism) are not.  Peace

TAX ALL BUREAUCRATS! federal, local and state at 5%, the civil service in this country is bloated, immoral and corrupt, TAX THEM, leave churches alone, tax the secular worshipping fools before they ruin our country. What moron puts their faith in govt.?  one with low IQ .  Of course anyone who depends on the govt. for their revenue, income, livelihood is for more govt., more taxes.  TAX the GOVT. leeches!

@high in Heaven- how are corporations enslaving people?  by serving consumers? by letting consumers freely choose to buy their products or services?  Corporations provide consumers with products and services to reduce consumers uneasiness and improve their standards of living.  Why demonize those who produce things for societies benefit.  We should encourage people to develop products and services for their fellow man.  Not encourage the govt. to come up with a new tax, its a broken record already.  And Dems are so creative, hey i got an idea lets tax..the internet.
The govt. is the one enslaving people, it produces nothing, takes our money by force and is anti-social, inefficient, and pathetic.

Sounds like you have a business you want to protect, Kirk…

Alcohol was re-legalized for two reasons:
to end the crime and corruption that its prohibition created and the government missed the tax revenue. Prohibited products are always unregulated, untaxed and controlled by criminals.

You have my full support.  I love weed and Jesus, but not tax exempt churches.  Good luck convincing the general public to take money from churches and to allow heathens to get high.  You clearly have your morals on backwards.

While we’re at it, why not just take the money from the corporations that are enslaving the people while getting bailed out with tax payer money at the same time?

Call me crazy but I fear that the end is nigh.